Unidentified flightless object seen around campus

Strange sightings on campus recently will be explained Saturday.

As UFOs go, this one kind of breaks the mold.

In the first place, it doesn’t seem to actually fly. But in the past few days this large but strangely familiar object has been seen on trucks, forklifts and moving dollies. It’s been on a road trip. And now it’s believed to be buzzing around campus looking for a landing place.

Here’s what’s known so far: It has a rigid structure, roughly avian in shape. Approximately 10 feet tall, it is believed to have substantial mass. People have given various descriptions, reporting that it is coppery-brown, with a little bit of green, and most definitely big.

University sources say they are preparing to welcome the visitor to campus and will offer it permanent residency. A final nesting place is expected to be revealed Saturday, Jan. 23, at 11:30 a.m. near the Ford Alumni Center.